Hi Tammrae, you are so thoughtful and smart and loving. Reading your story...so intimate, vulnerable so...open. You are so gifted in your expression and blessing your readers all the while. I am sorry to hear about your adult children and your husband. You really honed in on "it" though. Some might call it "testing" but I don't feel that; more tempering, strengthening stretching and growing that the Almighty does in us, for us and through us (-often despite myself). I have not endured much near any of your personal challenges but have had many of my own...admittedly most WITHIN my own head and heart. Recently divorced, end of a decades lenth job all simultaneous with Covid narrative. I still have younger children and the challenges of non-compliant natures, emotional chaos and strife...Lost both my ex's parents right about the same time and now my reamaining parent2 years ago-Dad. Mom has been gone 18. Yet I see divinity in it all AND that Satan is real and sometimes seems around every corner in my recent alone-ness. So, I feel as you say...I am being brought and called by Jesus not as a punishment or in admonition but because HE LO GS for me to ne nearer to HIM...HE wants that relationship to be less ONE WAY...(hi. drawing ME near but rather me seeking him...oh what a love that is... "I drive"...what a great take-away and illustration of our independent and mortal compositional nature. Genesis-instructs we are composed both of dust(earth)-the animals and us. What is the difference. Some may not like it but consider that God breathed the air (spirit) into US. It does not say the same for the animals. No, we are differentiated. That spirit is what separates us... We are Royal sons and daughters...and as such -thpigh we may not consider ourselves that highly-we are all too eager to ACT that o
part-aren't we? I recall the beginning of a book I just picked up regarding Shame and the first page talks about our nature as it relates to our drive-TO "I DRIVE". If curious it is Edward T Welch "A small book about why we hide". There is also an audio book on same subject. That often seems to be my own internal stumbling block. (I am not suggesting it is for you!). It is a theme which I know that Satan is and has been using and I am at a point where I must face it squarely and address some deep roots... Even without any history of molestation or abuse; I feel consumed with it far FAR too frequently-still!! Hugs and love. Thank you for your treasure you share with us!
Dear sister, I am so glad you shared that. Let us pray for each other. I was just saying to a friend the other day that guilt is ours to spur us to repentance of sins that we commit (and praise God, when we confess them and repent, we are forgiven in that instant!), but no amount of repenting can remove shame because shame is the burden of other people's sin that they want us to carry for them.
It is also Satan's chief tool to deceive us, making us focus on "what people think of us," instead of "what we think of God," and trying to make us believe that we are unsaveable. In actual fact, it is Satan who is unsaveable, because he left his first estate while he was immortal and now he can't undo that, so he's trying to get us to feel shame so we won't turn to our Savior, who died in payment for our sins.
Guilt is easily removed by repentance but we let shame stick to us, because no amount of repentance can remove it. Only the realization that it isn't our burden to carry can remove it. Mortality is actually God's gift to the descendants of Adam, so that we have time to make our mistakes and then repent of them before they become permanent in our eternal bodies.
Takeaway--we are saved by faith in Christ's payment at the Cross, once for all! Let's repudiate all shame and drop that burden--it is not ours to carry! Hallelujah! ❤️🙌
Yes hallelujah. I agree 110%, often it isn't even ehst I think others are thinking (though sometimes maybe) but regardless, you are SO right!! Frequently us mortals seem to have a real problem with not taking that aa well as the guilt over it-on. But as you say-I so believe Satan uses that exactly the way you mention to accuse and condemn us to affirm our own self condemnation...The accuser and deceiver and yes...we NEED TO give it all up at the cross...hallelujah sister! 🙏🙌
Your is a wonderful story as well and I am going to look for that book. The title sounds like my story.. thank you for sharing and God bless you & your family.
Oh, Tam, your story is both heartbreaking and beautiful at the same time because it’s tragedy results in the life giving salvation that many who have easier lives never get to experience. I share so much of the same type of childhood abuse, yet my earthly dad was not loving and I clung to my sweet but flawed mother and I learned how to use my southern girl charms from her to manipulate and get my way, to the detriment of all concerned. Still my mom loved me as much as she could and I miss her dearly and tried to pass the love and knowledge of Jesus to my daughter but I failed to show it to her in walking out a real faith because my husband mocked me and made me walk within a framework of acceptance by him. Still, God had to get hold of me and rattle my cage with the threat of cancer and he finally got my attention and I am grateful for it. But my daughter slipped through my care in college and went in a way that has captured her and she has given up all she learned about Jesus.. or did she ever learn? I can only leave it up to His loving care now and pray for her to awaken while I am still here to pray. My heart is broken so badly and I can’t share it with my husband now because he doesn’t even remember 5 minutes ago.. but oh, I am still so grateful that God rescued me from that pit and just glad that you, Tam and me and our other sisters here have let Him drive — something I struggle with sometimes still but surrender with gratitude daily. Thank you for your faithful ministry to us all.
Hi Tammrae, you are so thoughtful and smart and loving. Reading your story...so intimate, vulnerable so...open. You are so gifted in your expression and blessing your readers all the while. I am sorry to hear about your adult children and your husband. You really honed in on "it" though. Some might call it "testing" but I don't feel that; more tempering, strengthening stretching and growing that the Almighty does in us, for us and through us (-often despite myself). I have not endured much near any of your personal challenges but have had many of my own...admittedly most WITHIN my own head and heart. Recently divorced, end of a decades lenth job all simultaneous with Covid narrative. I still have younger children and the challenges of non-compliant natures, emotional chaos and strife...Lost both my ex's parents right about the same time and now my reamaining parent2 years ago-Dad. Mom has been gone 18. Yet I see divinity in it all AND that Satan is real and sometimes seems around every corner in my recent alone-ness. So, I feel as you say...I am being brought and called by Jesus not as a punishment or in admonition but because HE LO GS for me to ne nearer to HIM...HE wants that relationship to be less ONE WAY...(hi. drawing ME near but rather me seeking him...oh what a love that is... "I drive"...what a great take-away and illustration of our independent and mortal compositional nature. Genesis-instructs we are composed both of dust(earth)-the animals and us. What is the difference. Some may not like it but consider that God breathed the air (spirit) into US. It does not say the same for the animals. No, we are differentiated. That spirit is what separates us... We are Royal sons and daughters...and as such -thpigh we may not consider ourselves that highly-we are all too eager to ACT that o
part-aren't we? I recall the beginning of a book I just picked up regarding Shame and the first page talks about our nature as it relates to our drive-TO "I DRIVE". If curious it is Edward T Welch "A small book about why we hide". There is also an audio book on same subject. That often seems to be my own internal stumbling block. (I am not suggesting it is for you!). It is a theme which I know that Satan is and has been using and I am at a point where I must face it squarely and address some deep roots... Even without any history of molestation or abuse; I feel consumed with it far FAR too frequently-still!! Hugs and love. Thank you for your treasure you share with us!
Dear sister, I am so glad you shared that. Let us pray for each other. I was just saying to a friend the other day that guilt is ours to spur us to repentance of sins that we commit (and praise God, when we confess them and repent, we are forgiven in that instant!), but no amount of repenting can remove shame because shame is the burden of other people's sin that they want us to carry for them.
It is also Satan's chief tool to deceive us, making us focus on "what people think of us," instead of "what we think of God," and trying to make us believe that we are unsaveable. In actual fact, it is Satan who is unsaveable, because he left his first estate while he was immortal and now he can't undo that, so he's trying to get us to feel shame so we won't turn to our Savior, who died in payment for our sins.
Guilt is easily removed by repentance but we let shame stick to us, because no amount of repentance can remove it. Only the realization that it isn't our burden to carry can remove it. Mortality is actually God's gift to the descendants of Adam, so that we have time to make our mistakes and then repent of them before they become permanent in our eternal bodies.
Takeaway--we are saved by faith in Christ's payment at the Cross, once for all! Let's repudiate all shame and drop that burden--it is not ours to carry! Hallelujah! ❤️🙌
Yes hallelujah. I agree 110%, often it isn't even ehst I think others are thinking (though sometimes maybe) but regardless, you are SO right!! Frequently us mortals seem to have a real problem with not taking that aa well as the guilt over it-on. But as you say-I so believe Satan uses that exactly the way you mention to accuse and condemn us to affirm our own self condemnation...The accuser and deceiver and yes...we NEED TO give it all up at the cross...hallelujah sister! 🙏🙌
Your is a wonderful story as well and I am going to look for that book. The title sounds like my story.. thank you for sharing and God bless you & your family.
Oh, Tam, your story is both heartbreaking and beautiful at the same time because it’s tragedy results in the life giving salvation that many who have easier lives never get to experience. I share so much of the same type of childhood abuse, yet my earthly dad was not loving and I clung to my sweet but flawed mother and I learned how to use my southern girl charms from her to manipulate and get my way, to the detriment of all concerned. Still my mom loved me as much as she could and I miss her dearly and tried to pass the love and knowledge of Jesus to my daughter but I failed to show it to her in walking out a real faith because my husband mocked me and made me walk within a framework of acceptance by him. Still, God had to get hold of me and rattle my cage with the threat of cancer and he finally got my attention and I am grateful for it. But my daughter slipped through my care in college and went in a way that has captured her and she has given up all she learned about Jesus.. or did she ever learn? I can only leave it up to His loving care now and pray for her to awaken while I am still here to pray. My heart is broken so badly and I can’t share it with my husband now because he doesn’t even remember 5 minutes ago.. but oh, I am still so grateful that God rescued me from that pit and just glad that you, Tam and me and our other sisters here have let Him drive — something I struggle with sometimes still but surrender with gratitude daily. Thank you for your faithful ministry to us all.
Did you just write my story? Thank you!!
Praying for your family today. I know you know this - but He's so much bigger than we think He is. Thank you for sharing your story.